Friday, May 6, 2022

Twisted Rhymes

 Little Mrs. Muffet sat on a barstool drinking the day away

Along came an outsider

Who sat down beside her

Mrs. Muffet sprayed him with mace and then walked away

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Little boy blue was making some stew for the dinner table galore

The folks gathered round

They started chowing down

Then asked where he got the meat

You remember the sheep in the meadow

You remember the cows in the corn

If you do 

I won't say no more

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Three blind mice

Three blind mice 

Who play jazz

Who play jazz

Entertaining all around

With their music and funky sound

You can watch them once a day or thrice

Three funky jazz playing mice

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Hey diddle diddle 

The cat and the fiddle 

For the mice on the dock he did play

He lead them along

The mice dancing to the song

Then missteped and dropped into the bay

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Mary had a little van

Little van

Little van

Mary had a little van

That blew up lots of smoke


Mary was always broke

Always broke

Always broke

Mary was always broke 

So she left it on the road


Now Mary's walking home

Walking home

Walking home

Now Mar's Walking home

And she don't give a damn

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Jack and Jill had some thrills

Under the covers one night

Jack went down

And with a frown Jill said

Honey that don't feel right

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Little Bo Peep began to weep

Because of the growing baby inside her

A rollercoaster ride

Of emotional tides

Pregnancy is not a thrilling adventure 

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Marry ran a little scam

Little scam

Little scam

Marry ran a little scam

The police arrested her

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Little boy blue

Say that it's true

Bo Peep is your main squeeze 

Little Mrs Muffet 

Might have a nice taffet

But Peep really knows how to please

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Little Mrs. Muffet 

Knew Jimmy Buffet

They drank Margaritas all day

They chilled along

To the island sing

A true parrot head all the way

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Jack told Jill 

With a shrill

You're a bitch of every season 

Jill told Jack

With a smack

You S.OB. You're the reason 

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Humpty Dumpty drank all day

Humpty Dumpty started to sway 

Know you know

How he fell off the wall that day

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