PTSD 3

It was my first deployment over seas

I was in an open field

When I spotted one of the enemy

I shot him before he could shoot me

Then from behind

I was shot in the leg

I was taken to a field hospital

And later sent back to the states

While lying in my hospital bed

I kept replaying it in my mind

Me shooting someone

Me a murder

Sure he would have killed someone else

Sure he would have destroyed more lives

But still, I just could not get over what I had down

I did what I had to do

War is kill or be killed

However

I am not a killer

That is not me

After I was releashed from the hospital

I left the military

I vowed never to touch a gun

Or

Any other weapon

For as long as I lived